For many divorcing couples, the mere sight of their ex-spouse can be a pain. They want a complete change, and some even move to a different state to start over. Things are more complicated when you have kids, however. Children need both their parents, and co-parenting would be easier if you could remain friends with your former partner.
Putting the Kids First
It’s easier said than done. Even the court says they put the children’s needs first when granting custody, but no one knows for sure if the children are happy with the decision. It seems hard for a child to suddenly settle for one parent at a time, when they used to have both in the same home. This is why divorce lawyers remind parents to still see the best in each other. Albuquerque’s very own divorced couple, Grey Payne and Selia Cervantes Payne, can be a great example. They have just had a joint family vacation, and a family photo with their two kids shows that the children were indeed their first priority.
It Takes Time
For Grey and Selia, and for many divorced couples out there, it takes time to see friendship after divorce. You may hold negative feelings towards your ex-spouse, and that is normal. Over time, you will be able to let go of feelings of resentment and focus on the one thing you have in common: the kids. As children grow up, they need both their parents to guide them into adulthood. You two can be there for them and for each other. Rather than focusing on the reason you divorced, focus on the kids and their needs. It will also help if you introduce your new partners to each other.
Divorce may not have been the fairytale ending you wanted, but something good still came from it. You have wonderful kids. Be a great example to them by showing them that they don’t have to hate their other parent.